Posts Tagged ‘ Married ’

Lost in the In Between

M. and I have been married for three months now and lately, I find myself feeling a little lost.  I don’t feel lost in my relationship, I actually feel like M. and I have never been better.  We’re communicating great and really listening and trying to support one another the best way we can.  Where I’m feeling lost is more in my social life.  It’s like I’m in this weird place in between the Moms and the Single Ladies.

We definitely want to have kids, and who knows when we might be lucky enough to have that happen, but right now, we don’t have kids, so I can’t relate to those women.  But I’m married and not interested in staying out until 2am; I’m not interested in frequenting a loud crowded bar to shout across the table at my friends; I don’t get crushes; I don’t date.  It’s weird.

I’m not trying to throw judgment out into the air at either of these wonderful types of women.  If anything, I’m a little jealous of both of them.  I do want to be a mother and I want to create life and know there’s a little person in this world that relies on me in a way no one else ever has.  And part of me is sad that I’ll never be a single lady out in the dating world ever again.  I’ll never get that tingle about a first kiss ever again.

The grass is always greener, though, so I know in reality I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be in my own life, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t hard to find where the “now” me fits in.  I often feel left out of the Mom events, and don’t necessarily want to participate in the Single Lady events.  So where do I go?  I don’t really know, but I guess figuring that out is all part of growing up and evolving and just living life…

Single, Zero

That my friends, is how I am defined in the tax world, “Single/0,” and that is why I looove tax season.  Sure, they take out more than they should all throughout the year, but that one time bonus check of refund money from the government is so much more glorious than whatever extra I’d get in my bi-weekly paycheck that it’s totally worth it.  Ooooh tax refund money, how you excite me!  First things first?  Paying off my credit card!  The rest?  Do you even have to ask?  Because the rest is pouring into a sweet little thing I like to call my –er– our wedding fund!

Next year will be a whole new ball game, though, because next year I’ll be married.  Say it with me now… maaaarriiieeeeedddd.  Crazyyy.  I’ll also become a resident of Texas, thanks to the great United States Air Force, and do you know what’s awesome about Texas?  No state income tax for military folk.  So I guess there are some perks to the fact that they can take my husband away from me for an extended period of time at the drop of a dime.

Speaking of all this good stuff, you know how that whole “married” thing is crazy to me, yeah, well the whole “military” thing is equally as crazy.  I’m going to be a military wife.  I’m going to move everything I own in the next two years and pick up and live somewhere I’ve never lived before and then I’m gonna do it again and again and again for many years after that.  Daunting?  Sure.  Exciting?  Heck yes!  I really can’t wait.  I mean, of course, I’m gonna be a little sobbing mess to leave my family for the first time, but I am truly looking forward to all that the world has in store for me. 🙂

Okay, I think that’s enough life ramblings for one little blog post.