Our wedding day was absolutely perfect.  For anyone who attended, you know the ceremony was a little less than uneventful (I may have had to ask for a chair and then drink a soda mid-ceremony to prevent myself from passing out, oops!), but that just made it that much more memorable and special – and totally me.  Our reception was exactly what I wanted, just a big fun party – the photo booth was awesomeee!  Don’t get me wrong, there were things that went wrong along the way, but none of them mattered.  I just had such an amazing time and was SO happy to marry M. that the whole day was perfect to me.  And our honeymoon was SO wonderful, too - our trip had everything we wanted, romance, excitement, togetherness, adventure, amazing food, gorgeous views, relaxation – it was just wonderful.

Unfortunately, once we got home from our honeymoon, reality kicked in quickly, and M. and I dealt with one of the most difficult things we’ve ever gone through together.

We’d noticed earlier in the summer that Rotor, our two-year old orange tabby (aka our first son), didn’t seem as playful and active as usual and it seemed as though he was losing some weight.  So when we got home from our honeymoon, we took Rotor to the vet, and after multiple doctors and tests, were informed we only had a few months left with him.  It was devastating.  Here was this awesome little guy, who played fetch and did tricks, he cuddled with us every night, and was waiting at the door for us every day that we came home, he was a part of our family – he was awesome – and we were told we had 1-3 months left with him.  After getting over the initial shock of the news, we were blessed to get another two and a half months with our “Little Lion Man” (a nickname we had affectionately given him).  He fought as long and as hard as he could, but when it was time, it was just time.  It was one of the hardest decisions we’ve ever had to make, but I know we made the right one.  I know it may seem silly to anyone who has never had a pet, but I still miss him like crazy even a month later; he was a member of our family.  But I just think of Rotor up there in heaven now, fat and happy, and I know he’ll be in our hearts and our memories for years and years to come.  And even though our kids won’t get to meet Rotor, we’ll be sure to tell them stories about our awesome cat who opened doors and played fetch and always made us smile.

It’s such a compelling trait for a woman to find in a man, that cavalier manner; that passion to leave his mark; that battle against being ordinary. When I look at Grandma, I get a sense she couldn’t quite feel Grandpa’s drive or relate to it, but she loved it. She was all in. I don’t even know whether she actually understood the things my grandpa cared about – the mechanism of the key, for heaven’s sake, the physics behind a pulley, the economic role of the corncob pipe in twentieth-century America – but she found the man endlessly interesting. She was sort of like Dorothy in Jerry Maguire: I’ll stand back and support you, even when I can’t read your heart. And when you come home at the end of the day, I’ll happily be your soft place to fall.

How to Love an American Man, Kristine Gasbarre

We definitely want to have kids, and who knows when we might be lucky enough to have that happen, but right now, we don’t have kids, so I can’t relate to those women.  But I’m married and not interested in staying out until 2am; I’m not interested in frequenting a loud crowded bar to shout across the table at my friends; I don’t get crushes; I don’t date.  It’s weird.

I’m not trying to throw judgment out into the air at either of these wonderful types of women.  If anything, I’m a little jealous of both of them.  I do want to be a mother and I want to create life and know there’s a little person in this world that relies on me in a way no one else ever has.  And part of me is sad that I’ll never be a single lady out in the dating world ever again.  I’ll never get that tingle about a first kiss ever again.

The grass is always greener, though, so I know in reality I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be in my own life, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t hard to find where the “now” me fits in.  I often feel left out of the Mom events, and don’t necessarily want to participate in the Single Lady events.  So where do I go?  I don’t really know, but I guess figuring that out is all part of growing up and evolving and just living life…

Now being back at work, on the other hand, has been a bit of a downer, especially when I feel like there’s still so much to be done at home (cleaning, writing thank you notes, actually opening our new pots/pans, actually opening our new duvet, finding a place for all of our new crystal bowls, registering my car).  I always feel as though I could be SO much more productive at home then I am at work.  And no one tells you just how much there is to take care of AFTER you get married!  Holy crap!  I never really thought about how many memberships, accounts, credit cards, identification cards, etc., etc. would have to be changed!  It’s everything!  I just keep reminding myself, one thing at a time and eventually I’ll get it all done!

Come back later and I promise I’ll post on the wedding, our honeymoon AND the awesome spouse flight I got to go on!

Fortunately for me, M. helped me create this beauty, because I definitely don’t think I could’ve handled the cutting and carving on my own.  And it only took us one extra box of cake mix, due to a tiny error, lol.  We also decided to mix up the recipe with strawberry cake for the red stripes, which turned out deeeelicious.  All in all, I’d say our cake was a great success.  So happy birthday, America, I hope it was a great one!

Well we’re almost to the 10 week mark and let me just say, this past week has been SO productive!  Seriously!  I’m starting to finally feel like I really have a grasp on this thing and it’s not just carrying me away!  Yay!  So here’s the update (because it makes me feel good to write it out and I know y’all care so much ).

1.  I finally booked an officiant!!!  For anyone who has seen me in the last six months, you know this has been my #1 stressor for wedding planning and thank GOODNESS it is finally over and we have an actual officiant who can legally marry us!  Whew!

2.  We decided on our favors – personalized m&m’s since that’s how M. proposed to me. On Monday we ordered them and on Wednesday they arrived – wow!  And since the MP volunteered to put them all together for us, they’re pretty much checked off my list at this point.  Yay!

3.  I bought the LED candles to go in our luminaries this past weekend at the Christmas Tree Shoppe for a SUPER afforadable price.

4.  I’ve figured out our plan for the escort cards, programs, and menus and L. is helping me make all of them!

5.  I made a digital photo album (50+ pages!) of the first five years of M. and I together to have out at the wedding for people to look through.

6.  I had my hair trial run earlier this week and it went great.  I’m just going to wear it down with a little bit pulled to the side (using the awesome barrette I bought for $11 at a craft fair).

7.  We got our invitations in the mail this week, so we have a good two weeks to address them, stamp them and get them out at the 8 week point.

8.  We picked our menu for dinner.

Yay for wedding productivity!  I can’t wait for the day to just be here so we can get married and be husband and wife and go on our honeymoon!

It’s easily one of the best parts about Rotor and makes me smile no matter what kind of mood I am in after my day at work.  Natty is usually somewhere not very far behind, just a little quieter and a little less abrasive with her excitement to have me home.

Last week, however, I walked down the hall and heard nothing.  I unlocked the door, walked in, set down my purse, and there was nothing.  Now every now and then Rotor will be SO passed out on the bed, he won’t hear me coming home, but that’s usually on days when I come home at a weird time that he’s not expecting.  But this day everything was on schedule, so I was surprised to not only not be greeted at the door, but to not find Rotor or Natty on the bed.  Or on the couch.  Or in the kitchen.  Or in the bathroom.  For those of you who have not seen our condo, that list pretty much covers all possible locations for the kitties.

At this point I started calling out and making the usual little kitty noises to get their attention.  After about a minute of this, Natty finally popped her head out from under the bed, and quickly came over to me and started rubbing all over me.  She seemed fine, but there was still no Rotor.  I got down and started looking under the bed (there’s a LOT of stuff down there, so it’s no easy feat to find a kitty amongst the boxes).  Lo and behold, there was Rotor, shakin’ in his boots.  When he saw it was me, he attempted to come out from under the bed for about 30 seconds (visibly shaking the whole time), before retreating back to his hiding place.

At this point it hit me – our building was scheduled to be powerwashed that day.

I can only imagine the thunderous roar of the powerwash that echoed through our apartment the entire day, not to mention, I’m sure there were strange men climbing up and down our balcony all day long to get to the balconies below us to powerwash them.

To say Rotor was scared was an understatement.  It took HOURS for him to finally come out from under the bed, and even at that point he was still shaken and VERY cautious of walking by the sliding glass door (where the strange men no doubtedly traveled up and down all day).  I felt so bad for the poor little guy because he clearly just didn’t understand why his usually peaceful home had been invaded with loud noises that day.

Fortunately, after a night curled up between M. and me, Rotor was back to his normal self the next day, and in his normal spot, there to greet me at the door when I got home from work.

So nothing has chipped, but a few of them have started to look like they could be peeled off, if I put the effort into doing so.  I think a big part of having these nails is about just not destroying them yourself (we are all guilty of the boredom which results in completely chipping/scratching/peeling whatever paint is left on our nails).  Then the white tips have started to show wear and tear and you can even see my natural nail under a few of them as they start to grow out.  And speaking of growing out, that is the one main visual issue, my nails are growing and you can very obviously see the space between my cuticle and the gel put on top of my nail.  I guess that’s why I’ve heard of people getting their nails “filled” as an upkeep sort of thing, but personally I’ll probably just see what happens and eventually peel the gels off myself, as opposed to spending more money.

Ahh yes, money.  These little babies were expensive!  I had thought about getting them done for the bridal shower and then paying to have them done a few times this summer through until the wedding, ha, yeah right!  I’d rather save that money for something fun on our honeymoon then pay to have my nails done again this summer.  With tip and everything, I spent somewhere in the $90 range.  Ugh, I’m ashamed to even admit that – don’t judge me!!!  So yeah, definitely won’t be getting them done again until the wedding and honestly I’m not even sure I want them done for the wedding.  I think I do, because they do look nice for pictures and stuff, I’m just not sure if I feel like they’re reeeeally worth the money.

Anyway, here is a close-up shot for you to see what they look like at two weeks:

As you can tell, I definitely went for a lighter/more natural look.  I didn’t want to walk down the aisle and have Matt not recognize me!  I mean, I know it’s my wedding day, but I still am who I am and I like who I am, so I didn’t want to go crazy making myself something I’m not.  My only thought is maybe my eyes should be a little more emphasized?  But then again, I really kind of like the simple look.  I dunno, what do you all think?