Baby Name Dilemma

Who knew coming up with a baby name would be so gosh darn hard?  As a kid I always used to come up with baby names, but for whatever reason, they were always girl names.  I loved Kaylee for a while, and then I moved on to Josephine Alexandra, and from there I went to Abigail.  And all that time, never once thinking of a boy name!  But now here I am.  With a precious little boy on the way – and no name in sight!  M. and I keep throwing around M. Jr., but I’m just not *crazy* about it because I already have one M., I don’t necessarily need two M.’s in the house, lol.  M. also reeeally wants our first-born to have his father’s name (John) for a middle name.  While I’m fine with this, it’s making it tricky coming up a first name that fits.  I just think John is such a short middle name, that he needs a long first name, but most of the first names we’ve taken a particular liking to, tend to be shorter.  I know we have a few months left, but goodness, I never knew we’d actually need the whole nine months just to come up with a name!  Fingers crossed we’ll have something figured out by the time our little man is born! :)

Oh, and if you’re ever bored, this website is rather entertaining: http://www.babynamegenie.com/

2011: The happy tears and the sad tears

Well 2011 was a pretty amazing year.  I survived wedding planning (whew!) and married my best friend, the love of my life, my person. :) Then we went on an amazing trip to Hawaii and started the next chapter of our lives as husband and wife!

Our wedding day was absolutely perfect.  For anyone who attended, you know the ceremony was a little less than uneventful (I may have had to ask for a chair and then drink a soda mid-ceremony to prevent myself from passing out, oops!), but that just made it that much more memorable and special – and totally me.  Our reception was exactly what I wanted, just a big fun party – the photo booth was awesomeee!  Don’t get me wrong, there were things that went wrong along the way, but none of them mattered.  I just had such an amazing time and was SO happy to marry M. that the whole day was perfect to me. :) And our honeymoon was SO wonderful, too – our trip had everything we wanted, romance, excitement, togetherness, adventure, amazing food, gorgeous views, relaxation – it was just wonderful. :)

Unfortunately, once we got home from our honeymoon, reality kicked in quickly, and M. and I dealt with one of the most difficult things we’ve ever gone through together.

We’d noticed earlier in the summer that Rotor, our two-year old orange tabby (aka our first son), didn’t seem as playful and active as usual and it seemed as though he was losing some weight.  So when we got home from our honeymoon, we took Rotor to the vet, and after multiple doctors and tests, were informed we only had a few months left with him.  It was devastating.  Here was this awesome little guy, who played fetch and did tricks, he cuddled with us every night, and was waiting at the door for us every day that we came home, he was a part of our family – he was awesome – and we were told we had 1-3 months left with him.  After getting over the initial shock of the news, we were blessed to get another two and a half months with our “Little Lion Man” (a nickname we had affectionately given him).  He fought as long and as hard as he could, but when it was time, it was just time.  It was one of the hardest decisions we’ve ever had to make, but I know we made the right one.  I know it may seem silly to anyone who has never had a pet, but I still miss him like crazy even a month later; he was a member of our family.  But I just think of Rotor up there in heaven now, fat and happy, and I know he’ll be in our hearts and our memories for years and years to come.  And even though our kids won’t get to meet Rotor, we’ll be sure to tell them stories about our awesome cat who opened doors and played fetch and always made us smile. :)

It’s such a compelling …

It’s such a compelling trait for a woman to find in a man, that cavalier manner; that passion to leave his mark; that battle against being ordinary. When I look at Grandma, I get a sense she couldn’t quite feel Grandpa’s drive or relate to it, but she loved it. She was all in. I don’t even know whether she actually understood the things my grandpa cared about – the mechanism of the key, for heaven’s sake, the physics behind a pulley, the economic role of the corncob pipe in twentieth-century America – but she found the man endlessly interesting. She was sort of like Dorothy in Jerry Maguire: I’ll stand back and support you, even when I can’t read your heart. And when you come home at the end of the day, I’ll happily be your soft place to fall.

How to Love an American Man, Kristine Gasbarre

Lost in the In Between

M. and I have been married for three months now and lately, I find myself feeling a little lost.  I don’t feel lost in my relationship, I actually feel like M. and I have never been better.  We’re communicating great and really listening and trying to support one another the best way we can.  Where I’m feeling lost is more in my social life.  It’s like I’m in this weird place in between the Moms and the Single Ladies.

We definitely want to have kids, and who knows when we might be lucky enough to have that happen, but right now, we don’t have kids, so I can’t relate to those women.  But I’m married and not interested in staying out until 2am; I’m not interested in frequenting a loud crowded bar to shout across the table at my friends; I don’t get crushes; I don’t date.  It’s weird.

I’m not trying to throw judgment out into the air at either of these wonderful types of women.  If anything, I’m a little jealous of both of them.  I do want to be a mother and I want to create life and know there’s a little person in this world that relies on me in a way no one else ever has.  And part of me is sad that I’ll never be a single lady out in the dating world ever again.  I’ll never get that tingle about a first kiss ever again.

The grass is always greener, though, so I know in reality I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be in my own life, but it doesn’t mean it isn’t hard to find where the “now” me fits in.  I often feel left out of the Mom events, and don’t necessarily want to participate in the Single Lady events.  So where do I go?  I don’t really know, but I guess figuring that out is all part of growing up and evolving and just living life…

Where did the time go? Oh right, I know!

Funny how when you’re planning a wedding, getting married, going on a honeymoon and then trying to re-join the “real” world as a completely new person (legally speaking), three months can fly by at the blink of an eye!  So here I am, a newlywed, with a new last name and a pretty new ring on my finger.  And so far, it’s been pretty awesome.  Mind you, 40% of our marriage thus far has been spent in Hawaii, but whatever, that included 48 hours of travel time, which we survived, so I think we should actually get bonus points!

Now being back at work, on the other hand, has been a bit of a downer, especially when I feel like there’s still so much to be done at home (cleaning, writing thank you notes, actually opening our new pots/pans, actually opening our new duvet, finding a place for all of our new crystal bowls, registering my car).  I always feel as though I could be SO much more productive at home then I am at work.  And no one tells you just how much there is to take care of AFTER you get married!  Holy crap!  I never really thought about how many memberships, accounts, credit cards, identification cards, etc., etc. would have to be changed!  It’s everything!  I just keep reminding myself, one thing at a time and eventually I’ll get it all done!

Come back later and I promise I’ll post on the wedding, our honeymoon AND the awesome spouse flight I got to go on! :)

Twilight Kayak Tour down the Potomac River

Happy Birthday, America!

Last week one of my friends sent me a link to this blog to show me the awesome 4th of July cake and I was quickly inspired to bake my own birthday cake for America!

Fortunately for me, M. helped me create this beauty, because I definitely don’t think I could’ve handled the cutting and carving on my own.  And it only took us one extra box of cake mix, due to a tiny error, lol.  We also decided to mix up the recipe with strawberry cake for the red stripes, which turned out deeeelicious.  All in all, I’d say our cake was a great success.  So happy birthday, America, I hope it was a great one!

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